So not much has happened around here lately - unless you count Mrs. Carruthers, our old neighbor, screeching about seeing Miss Direcque, the town librarian, riding a broomstick above Meteor Park (yeah, Pluto tends to overdo the outer space references) a couple of weeks ago. She swears that when Miss Direcque saw her, she actually cackled.
Weird.
So anyway, Millie Milkweed (swear to God that's her real name), who's in my Honors Physics class, was acting kind of strange in class yesterday. I don't usually pay attention to strange things in my classes, given that the majority of kids in my school...actually...in the whole town, are by definition wacky.
Millie is no exception.
I was busy trying to figure out the assignment Mr. Stratum had just given us, when I noticed out the corner of my eye that Millie was acting kind of bizarre. I would have ignored it, except for the fact that Zach Zanto commented on it.
"What's with her?" he hissed, raising one silvery-blond eyebrow.
I glanced over at Millie. If Zach, who I KNOW is an alien (though I haven't been able to prove it yet), thinks Millie is weird, then Man, she's got to be behaving even weirder than usual.
I paid attention.
Zach was right. Millie was fidgeting from side to side, and I swear she was rustling. I don't mean her clothes were rustling. I mean SHE was rustling, like dry leaves on a windy day.
Can't be, I thought, and turned back to my work. I noticed Zach was staring at her unblinking with those bizarre otherworldly eyes of his.
"Hey Man, we gotta finish this by the end of class," I whispered.
"Already done," he said, not taking his eyes off Millie.
I shrugged. Whatever. And got back to my work.
At least I tried to. Between Millie's rustling, which was steadily getting worse, and Zach's freaky staring, I couldn't concentrate. Giving up, I threw my pen down and turned to Millie.
"Psssst! Hey Millie?"
I know she heard me, but she acted like she didn't. Her fidgeting was getting worse. By now most of the class was staring at her.
"Millie?" I said again, a little louder this time. I glanced quickly at Mr. Stratum, but he was busy writing some formulas on the board.
She froze. I mean literally froze. Her body stopped in mid-shift, her eyes locked in place, and she looked as if she were holding her breath.
I leaned over and shook her arm. It felt crepey, like Christmas tissue paper. Creeped out, I snatched it away.
She turned slowly toward me and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand out like an angry porcupine. She opened her mouth to speak, but the only thing that came out was a long sigh, like the sound of the ocean on a quiet day. You know, that whooshing sound the sea makes?
"Millie!" I said again, "Are-are you all right? You look...um...kinda...I dunno..."
She got slowly to her feet. "Wa...ter," she whispered, in a voice as dry and dessicated as a corn husk.
"There-there's a drinking fountain down the hall," I said, wondering why it was that every weirdo in Pluto ends up in my classes.
She gave me a weak smile and turned toward the door. We all turned to watch her leave. She hobbled slowly toward the door, each step worse than the one before. By the time she reached the door, she was dragging her right foot behind her.
I made a snap decision and raised my hand. "Sir? Mr. Stratum?"
He turned from the blackboard. "What is it Mr. Beaker?"
"I think Millie Milkweed needs help Sir. May I go after her?"
Mr. Stratum looked in surprise at Millie's empty desk. He nodded. "Go ahead. Escort her to the infirmary, but make sure you come right back."
"Yes sir." I sprang up and galloped out the door. Millie was nowhere in sight. I wandered the halls for a while, but couldn't see her anywhere. I ran to the infirmary, but the only sick person there was Deadeye Danny.
He was sitting on one of the bunks, drinking something that looked like a beetroot smoothie, but when he caught me staring at him, he stopped and slowly lowered the glass. He smiled at me, his pure white teeth glistening in the ray of sunshine filtering in through the blinds. Jeez, his incisors were long, or was I just imagining that?
"Hey Beaker," he said. "How goes it?"
"Fine, fine," I said, nodding. "I'm fine. Just fine." Could I have been any more of a Dork? "Er...how are you?"
Danny's grin widened, allowing me a clearer view of his teeth. Those incisors WERE sharp; and long. They were way longer than they needed to be.
"I'm good," he said, raising his glass to me. "Just peachy." He took another long swig and smacked his lips. "Ahhh, that's good." Then he frowned at me. "What are you doing out of class Beaker? Don't you know it's not wise to wander the halls by yourself?"
"Yeah...um...yeah," I said. I cleared my throat. "Actually, I'm looking for Millie Milkweed. She...uh...she hasn't been by here, has she?" That's not her you're drinking out of that glass, I thought. Pleae tell me it's not.
"She did come by here, but I suggested she try the Whirlpool tub in the girls' locker room."
I stared at him. "Pardon?"
He smiled and swigged the rest of his drink down. When it was empty, he set it down with a satisfying thump. Satisfying on his part, that is. Me, I was still trying to figure out what he said.
He glanced up at me and slowly got to his feet. "You still here?" he said. "I suggest you beat a hasty retreat to the girls' locker room and check on Millie."
I didn't wait to point out that boys weren't allowed in the girls' locker room. I turned and did what he said, beat a hasty retreat toward the locker rooms. Our new gym and the boys and girls locker room were brand new, with everything an athlete could want in them, including therapy tubs with those jets in them for sore muscles. The money was donated by old man Centennus, who lived alone way up on Echo Hill. He was the town gajillionaire and was always donating money for something new for the town. He was weird as heck, but nobody complained because he did so much for Pluto.
When I got to the locker rooms, there was nobody around. I checked the gym. Nothing. I waited, hoping some girl would come by that I could ask to please go in and check on Millie.
After five minutes, I decided maybe I ought to get back to class before Mr. Stratum foisted more homework on me for goofing around. I was halfway back to class when I heard a squelching sound behind me. I turned to see Millie walking up--scratch that--she was skipping toward me as if she hadn't a care in the world.
I stared at her. She smiled at me, looking all pretty and shiny, like a brand new penny.
"Hi Rodney," she said, linking her arm through mine. "What are you doing out of class?"
"I was...I was..." The squelching sound continued as we walked. I stopped and looked at her feet. Her shoes were soaking wet. As a matter of fact, she was wet all over, and my arm which was linked thorugh hers, was getting pretty wet too.
"Millie, what the heck--"
She glanced down. "Oh this? It's nothing. One of the faucets in the bathroom sprayed me. No big deal."
She was lying. I mean, you don't get soaked like that, from head to foot, just from a leaky faucet. She looked like she dove, head first, into a pool of water.
Or a bathtub. Wait! What was it Deadeye Danny said? Something about telling her there was a tub in the locker rooms?
"Come on," she said, tugging at me. "We don't want to get yelled at."
I let her lead me back to class.
"Tell me Rodney," she said, looking out the windows as we walked, "Do you believe in mermaids?"
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